It’s not really moving on

March 7, 2012

I’ve been trying to figure out lately what moving on is. How people say so often that they got over someone or an event, and that they have moved on. How people think of the craziest ways possible just to “move on” from a heartbreak or heartache. How people make lists of tips and ideas on how to heal your broken heart and “move on”. But I believe it’s not really moving on that is the main part of getting over a heartbreak. It’s acceptance.

The sooner you realize that things can never be the same again, the sooner you realize that love is just not enough, and the sooner you realize that you deserve something better, the easier you will be able to accept that you have to go on with your life leaving that person or sentiment behind. It’s not like everyday you are given the chance to live. One day, who knows you might not be able to wake up? I’m not trying to scare you, or anything of that sort. But let’s just be open to that possibility.

“You know yourself better than other people.” Cliche as it may sound, but with this, I know that within ourselves, we know what’s better for us. We know what we want and what we need – a person who can bear with us despite the felicity and mishaps of life, a person who knows us in and out and yet loves us to the fullest, a person who will not only be a loved one but a friend, a person who we can show our craziness with, a person who will never leave us through thick and thin – and yet sometimes we settle for less. Just because of the cheap thrills of attraction. Just because we feel the need to have an emotional binge, and splurge out on the idea of being inlove then we end up searching for it at the wrong places. Just because we want to feel loved and so alive.

After all those searching, trying and testing, we end up bruised and broken, scarred and defeated, and a handful of moments of happiness suddenly turned to sorrows, and then we get lost. We don’t know where we are anymore. We don’t know where we are bound. We don’t know where we start picking up the fragments of our heart scattered around nobody-knows-where. Some people even immediately think that they can’t go on living a life anymore. That’s a lie. You’ve lived years before you met that person. What difference will it be without him/her? If he/she leaves you, take this as an opportunity to wait for that person, for the best, for whom God has planned for you. If you are leaving him/her, be gentle. Yes there is no safest way possible to leave a person, you will both be hurt. But both of you just have to accept the fact that we are humans, the heart gets tired too, and we can never dictate how long we can hold on. And that the possibility that if you don’t let go as early as you can, you might just hurt each other more in the long run. We should be brave enough to gather all courage that we have, stand up for what is necessary.

Acceptance – that’s all there is. We have to accept that we are not happy anymore. We have to accept that it’s just not the same anymore. We have to accept that the harder you try to patch things up, the more you will get hurt. We have to accept the fact that he/she has found someone else. We have to accept that he/she was just not the best. We have to accept that life is better off without him/her. Acceptance – that’s all we need to mend our heart slowly, back together. But why acceptance? Because moving on, it may leave you bitter. But acceptance? Acceptance makes you better.

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