I turned 21 yesterday – not that the whole world needs to know or the whole country needs to celebrate about it – but I did.
I didn’t keep my hopes up too high because I didn’t want to cause anyone any hassle. And I only had one birthday wish in mind that I thought would make me really, really happy on the day of my birthday. I came to school praying and hoping that it the Lord would grant it. I was surprised instead and felt so special with all the messages those who are important to my life have given me. It turned out that my friends were sneaking things behind my back. Long, short, serious, funny – whatever they were – they made me teary-eyed. This is actually the first time I experienced something like this.
With the help of my friends, I was able to cross out two things from my bucket list on the day of my birthday. I wrote a wish on a balloon and I was able to fly my own floating lantern. What’s in that piece of paper? That’s my long term wish for myself. Something I would want to see from me the next years. I felt Rapunzel-ish in a way when I was looking up at the floating lantern and it felt so great! It all seemed so surreal and nice at the same time. There’s just something about simple things that can make me genuinely happy.
I am most certainly thankful to God for the gift of sweet, funny and thoughtful friends who came and never left. Those who stayed not only during the best times of my life, but also never hesitated to be with me during the times I felt wrong and so wronged. Second to my family, they encouraged me to do things and supported me all the way. They know very well how to appreciate my skills, potentials and abilities. They are, indeed, the best bunch of friends.
To everyone who remembered, to everyone who exerted more than just a bit of what they could possibly do, to everyone who made me feel so special, to everyone who made me feel that I inspire them in one way or another, to everyone who tried to break me and pull me down, to everyone who never gave up on me, to everyone who had been and is still with me despite 21 years of unstable but wonderful rollercoaster of an ocean of emotions – THANK YOU – you all know who you are. The Lord knows how grateful I am for the gift of life He has given me and the quality of people He has blessed me to love and be loved
As I lit that candle before I lit the floating lantern, I had a lot of things running in my mind that time. There were a lot of flashbacks particularly of the last year, last year’s birthday, the times I felt truly happy, the times I cried a bucket of tears, the times I almost gave up, the times I decided to bounce back up 10 times, every single, bittersweet moment of the past year. And I thought to myself, that I wanted to leave all the pain behind, let it fly with the lantern and start to get things right this time. There’s a lot of things I want to pray for, a list of things I want to ask for, a series of things I want to accomplish, but I know deep inside me, they will all happen in God’s time
This post may come quite a surprise because of it’s briefness. Something you wouldn’t expect from me in an event like this. But slowly, I’m learning to “normalize” what I have to say and when to say it. I’ve been struggling with my progress in maturity and I’m making all efforts possible to leave all the insecurities and immaturity behind. Be better, even the best, who knows. Perhaps, within the next days, months, and weeks, I’ll even be blogging in a different perspective. I have a lot of things in mind within the next days – straighten out my priorities, prepare to move on to the next level of my life, fix out a few things – and I hope and pray that God grant me the strength to accept how things will be turning out in the days to come and the serenity to take in the things I couldn’t change at all.
Growing old is an inevitable thing, but growing up is a choice. And it’s mine to make now.