What ifs

March 24, 2012

I remember telling myself, my life is not my life it is not full of what ifs. I wonder a lot, I tend to ask myself a lot of questions. I don’t know, I don’t want my mind to go idle sometimes, especially when I’m alone. Instead of focusing on stuff that are too negative, I try to question myself with what ifs.

  • What if I took up another course?
  • What if I didn’t do stuff that I had done before?
  • What if I went to another school?
  • What if I didn’t look like what I look like right now?
  • What if I was in that place?

These questions, well, they’re just pretty general. But I love how my mind deeps digger into every question. It’s like, discovering more, knowing my self better, learning about others. They may be negative sometimes, they may portray skepticism or doubt at times, but the thing is, I don’t let them bring me down, instead I use it to tell myself that, every question has an answer. And with every query, there will be a result.

I know it’s not that good to dwell in past. It’s not that I’m saying that it’s bad to look back. Who am I to prohibit people from looking back and trying to reminisce? They say that in order to avoid so much pain, you have to focus on what you have right now, and not the things you used to have and you could’ve had. But isn’t there a thrill, in trying to ask yourself what ifs, and then you eventually try to make it happen in the present? There’s a sense of fulfillment, of clarity, of peace. Tranquility.

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