October 16, 2012

It all started two weeks ago.

I was lying awake in bed. Around 1 in the morning and feeling so sad. I did say my evening prayer and wanted to fall asleep a little bit early. But I just couldn’t make myself do it. My body clock’s so messed up. A lot of things were running through my mind that night. What ifs, possibilities, options, alternatives, decisions to be made, questions. While I was staring lazily at one spot in our ceiling, I suddenly noticed a little firefly. Its tiny light blinking. On then off. On then off. On then off again. I could not help but stare at it. As if for a minute or two, my mind went blank and all I did was gaze upon the beauty of that shimmering being.

This evening, while I was alone sitting in our school’s Students’ Lounge and thinking and internalizing things, it was as if I was out of myself. I stared in a dark spot just a few meters away from where I was seated. I was sipping on a glass of Wintermelon Milk Tea, which surprisingly did make me feel a little better that time then I suddenly noticed something scintillating. I wasn’t mistaken. It was a firefly. Just a few moments after I saw it, it was gone.

I suddenly realized one thing. God may have been possibly using fireflies to make me feel that I am not alone. That He’s there. In the darkness, He’s the Light. In despair, He’s the Hope. Despite all the feelings and problems you feel, the pitch black darkness that the enemy may be using to discourage you or to blind you, there will always be a light amidst it all. It may be as small as the light of a firefly, but the bottomline is, there’s still a light. A small flutter of light. A small flicker of hope. Sometimes, even the littlest flash of hope can be enough to hold on to something. To never give up. To convince yourself that life doesn’t stop the moment something difficult comes to your life. Remember the fight is never really over unless you give up and stop fighting.

P.S. Sorry. I haven’t been able to post lately because I’ve been pretty busy with school. As much as I would like to keep this blog updated, I end up spending more time in Tumblr than here. Anyway, till next post.

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