comfort zone (n.) a place or situation where one feels safe or at ease and without stress
About two weeks now, my laptop, Boo, gave up on me. I don’t know what’s the problem yet because as of the moment, I don’t have enough resources to get it checked and repaired. I’m not really comfortable blogging from my phone and my tab, so thanks to Dada for letting me borrow his laptop when he’s in the office. I know by this sentence you’re probably asking, what’s the connection of my laptop being broken to the title and the first sentence of this post. Because you see guys, Boo was my comfort zone.
I had Boo as a gift from my aunt for my 18th birthday. I named her Boo because of Boo in Monsters Inc., which is one of my favorite animated movies. So, I got her in 2009, and five years after, she just decided to rest. I’m saying she was my comfort zone because I had everything I needed there: my blog materials (i.e. PSDs, fonts, Photoshop textures, brushes), important files, codes I’ve worked on since freshmen, movies, TV series I love to watch, photos, music and a lot of drafts. Yeah, just about everything I need. So when she gave up on me, I felt a bit paralyzed. I won’t deny I almost cried. But I don’t know why I didn’t. Instead, I told myself “It’s okay, I’ll just have it repaired once I have a job,” and then I moved on.
Don’t get me wrong, it did hurt a lot when I turned the power button on and all I saw was a blank, white screen. But it did make me feel better that Dada told me I can use his laptop if I need it (so yerp, that means I still get to annoy you with my blog posts haha >:) ). Lesser time for the laptop, more time for other things. I started reading books again, started updating my planner again, wrote a few haikus, searched for useful and fun apps and a lot more. I started adjusting with Dada’s laptop although there’s a big difference between his laptop and Boo. I had to make do with whatever’s available and it was not because I had no choice, but because it was my choice. But last week, I realized getting out from my comfort zone with Boo is pretty much what’s going on with my life right now. I’m getting out of my comfort zone to chase my dreams.
I’ve stayed in Legazpi for more than half of my life and two years ago, I wrote a post explaining why Manila may not be for me. But who would have thought I would be in a place where I thought I wouldn’t be? But I did open myself for possibilities, right? Under the condition that it’s under God’s will. I left behind home, friends, my second home (church) and the place I’ve loved for so long. Don’t tell me that’s not much of my comfort zone because it pretty much is.
Last night, I started reading a book titled Discovering God’s Will For Your Life by Ray Pritchard and these lines really struck me last night:
God’s will is a relationship, not a location. It is not a question of where you should go or what you should do. Knowing the will of God is not primarily about who you should marry or when you should get married. It’s not about taking this job or that job, or how many kids you should have, or where you should go to school, or whether you should be a missionary or not. Those are secondary questions. The primary question is this: Are you willing to stay close to God and follow wherever He leads you? It’s a spiritual question. When we say to God, “Show me what to do,” the Lord God says, “Stay close to me.” We cry out to the heavens, “I’m scared,” God says, “Follow me.” We say, “O God, give me some answers.” And God says, “Give me your heart…” The secret of knowing God’s will is the secret of knowing God; and as you get to know God better, He will reveal His will to you.
I really paused for a few minutes, thought about it and I thought about it hard. I reread the few real stories Ray Pritchard included to support his main points. I understood that:
- God’s guidance is revealed to us one step at a time.
- God’s guidance demands our obedience whether it makes sense to us or not.
- God’s guidance changes its character according to the need of the moment.
- God’s guidance is revealed as we stay close to Him.
By today, I’ve already been here for a month. I’m not rushing into anything because I do not want to settle for less than what God has in store for me regarding my career. But I have to be completely honest, there are times that I try to ask certain questions to myself, and pray harder, without ceasing because I get discouraged. Deep inside I know, I’m here for a reason I have yet to find out. That God has a purpose on the waiting I’m experiencing before I finally land a job.
They say, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone,” and I’ve traveled approximately 12 hours by land to get out of it and chase my dreams. I know my life as a yuppie hasn’t even started yet, and that there are more tests to come but I know that the journey to getting out of my comfort zone while trying to consistently stay close with God is not finished yet. The physical separation has indeed transpired, but my emotional comfort zone has still a long way to go. There are still obstacles and personal reasons why I can’t really get out of it right now (reasons which I would not elaborate further). But I know in time, I will.